11/07/2003

Hey, If I Can't Abort It, I Better Get a Tax Break:
You know, the Rude Pundit looks forward to the day that one of the Bush daughters gets knocked up after a particularly intense session of snorting coke off the cock tip of her large African boyfriend and fucking him hard to get the last little milligram into her system. Man, faster than you can say, "Reproductive rights" Jenna or Barbara will have a Hoover stuffed in her kooz to get rid of that fetus. Yeah, the day that story or anything like that comes out, women's rights advocates can shake their heads knowingly and just think, That's why they call it "choice," asshole. But meanwhile, there's an election approaching next year, so it's time for all the lies and malice the Republicans can muster in their evil quest to strip all rights away except the right to go to the church of their choice and the right to shut the fuck up or it's solitary for you, motherfucker. So, with no irony whatsoever, what with a war going on and all the death penalty crimes and Guantanamo torture, our "President" proclaimed, "America stands for liberty, for the pursuit of happiness and for the unalienable right of life. This right to life cannot be granted or denied by government because it does not come from government, it comes from the creator of life," except of course when you cross us, then, fuck the creator - your ass is ours. And, in a truly repulsive photo, Bush smiled, as did the robotronic lackeys behind him, when he signed the bill into law. What contempt these idiots have for us. Look at those smiles, the nascent evil just waiting to burst out of Orrin Hatch, Bush's smile of "See what I did, Ma!" so she can maybe hug him. In the audience, among other medical professionals, was the Reverend Jerry Falwell, looking like he just ate a big ol' bowl of nanner puddin' balanced on his gelatinous thighs.

Here's the deal: less than one percent of all abortions take place after the twentieth week. How many of those do you think are elective (that is, no one's gonna die or be horribly deformed)? Very, very few. Is dilation and extraction (which is the real name of "partial birth" abortion) the safest procedure? No, but, then again, there's quite a few medical procedures that have risks of damage and complications, like, let's say, ball park figure here, almost all. But conservatives, in their desire to control all things about the body because they fear the fucking, don't give a damn. Because they have constituents to pleasure, and nothing feels as good as the hand job of a bill limiting access to abortion.

And, really, the endgame here is declaring a fetus a human being. If that day comes, then the Rude Pundit wants his goddamn tax credit on the "human" inside any woman he's knocked up in the last year.