11/23/2003

Why Ann Coulter Is Still a Cunt, Part 6:
Because at the end of her recent "column" (and that would be assuming a lot, since an editorial column is, right or wrong, usually a well-reasoned, rational attempt at some kind of point of view, not simply the mad rantings of someone who, by all rights, should be getting sodomized regularly by the underpaid orderlies at a mental ward) Coulter calls for violence against the Democrats. Yep, that's right kids. This is after a long, fart-filled shit of a column where she reduces every Democratic candidate for President to his or her grotesque caricature, including a section we'll just call "Fun With Jews."

In this part, Coulter cites the ways that several candidates assert Jewish street cred: "There's Joe Lieberman: Always Jewish. Wesley Clark: Found Out His Father Was Jewish in College. John Kerry: Jewish Since He Began Presidential Fund-Raising. Howard Dean: Married to a Jew. Al Sharpton: Circumcised." Now, leaving out the obvious question of why skinny white Ann Coulter is thinking about the shape of Al Sharpton's black cock, one has to ask if she (or any conservative columnist, for that matter) would ever make a list of Republicans and cite how they scramble to out-Christian each other to the point where you think they wanna take the nails out of Jesus and lick his wounds. One might want to ask that, but, then again, one would have to be dealing with a sane person, not a woman who is so batshit out of her mind and full of said batshit that she lumps Israel-loving Lieberman in with those who want "to disguise the fact that the Democrats would allow the state of Israel to perish as Palestinian suicide bombers slaughter Jewish women and children." 'Cause, you know, you always want Ann Coulter on your side to give your movement credibility.

Which brings us to the last line that this odious whore writes: "If the Democrats start extolling you – get a gun." The assumption here, of course, is that it's okay to kill Democrats (which is just logical in Coulterworld, since Treason was the title of her last "book," and it's a crime punishable by death in America). So, like, if someone, say, like, drags Coulter by her blonde roots out into an alley and puts three bullets in the back of her skull, that'd be just jim-fucking-dandy and hunky-goddamn-dory by the parameters she has set. And while blood soaks her designer clothes, the gunperson can just look at Coulter and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, was that whole killing thing a joke?"