12/08/2003

John Kerry - Calling a Fuck-up a Fuck-up:
So there's John Kerry, being interviewed by Rolling Stone magazine, and the interview covers the basic subjects: Iraq, Afghanistan, Schwarzenegger. Then Will Dana asks about Howard Dean's anti-war stance, and, in response, Kerry says he expected Dean to be "against everything," but that he didn't "expect George Bush to fuck it up as badly as he did". And the interview goes on. Of course, the White House has to come out on the talk shows, saying that Kerry should apologize. Attack dog Andrew Card said that the remark was "beneath John Kerry," forgetting that Time magazine had previously reported that President Bush said, "Fuck Saddam" in reference to Hussein last year. Which then begs the question of what Kerry should apologize for? For the word or the sentiment?

Because, really, and even if you supported this whole debacle in Iraq, George Bush has pretty much fucked it up. More soldiers dying? That's a fuck-up. Increased attacks expected? That'd be a fuck-up. Housing crisis? Fuck-up. Creation of Israel-like blockaded towns? Yup, you guessed it - fuck-up. It's all fucked up. By any objective measure, it's fucked-up. By any kind of goals-related outcome, unless one is the increasingly frantically bipolar Donald Rumsfeld or the increasingly demonstratively embodiment of evil that is Dick Cheney, one has to see that, well, shit, George Bush fucked it up. Badly. Give props to our homey, John Kerry, for speaking it like it is. (And, frankly, it's a far less cynical play to the youth vote than, say, Howard Dean's declaration that Wyclef Jean is his favorite musician.)

But Card actually said something far more sinister than any declaration of high-falutin' propriety at vulgar language. The White House Chief of Staff, in a move that would make Soviet-era revisionists proud, declared that lingering questions about faulty intelligence are a "moot point." In other words, hey, America, you're fucked and we think you're too fucking stupid to care why. Let's put it this way: say that Andrew Card was a whore (an actual one - the kind that gets fucked in the ass for money and will suck a dick for . . . oh, wait, okay, he already does that. Anyways) and that somewhere along the long hard slog of a whore-road, he gets knocked up (he's a female whore). And Whore Andy wants to keep the baby because she needs something to giver her life meaning. Now, someone, somewhere is going to pay for it. But Whore Andy can't remember which john might have done it - there's been too many. She can easily eliminate all the hand jobs, blow jobs, and most of the anal. But that still leaves a good number. Whore Andy can declare that it's a "moot point" who fucked her because, you know, someone, somewhere is going to pay for the baby. And, really, who gives a shit who that is? The money could come from he government, from an old boyfriend, or from some johns she rolls after knocking them out or slicing their throats.

A moot point? What Andrew Card means is: "Okay, okay, we fucked up." It's as much a confession as you're gonna find these days. Only the guilty want the truth squashed and silenced. "A moot point" is a worse obscenity than anything that comes out of John Kerry's mouth.

So if anyone criticizes Kerry for his language, if the O'Reillys, Hannities, and Scarboroughs wanna make an issue out of it, Kerry should just say, "Go fuck yourselves."