9/06/2004

Fun With Words and Numbers - Conventions Edition:
Before the political parties' conventions fade from our memories like the fever dream of a tequila binge, let's take a moment to get all "Harper's Index" funky on the speeches that were delivered at each convention. Engaging in intense scientific scrutiny, involving multifarious uses of the "Find" function on Internet Explorer, the Rude Pundit has tabulated the results of a survey of the multiple occurrences of various "buzzwords" in the political rhetoric of the speakers at each convention. First, the results, followed by the conclusions:

(Numbers are taken from the texts of the 18 speeches listed at the Democratic National Convention (DNC) website and 20 of the speeches listed at the Republican National Convention (RNC) website)

Number of times the date "September 11" (or "9/11") was mentioned:
DNC: 11 (including 3 times in reference to the "9/11 Commission")
RNC: 43 (with no mention of the 9/11 Commission)

Number of times the words "towers" or "trade center" were mentioned:
DNC: 2
RNC: 12

Number of times the words "ruins" or "rubble" were mentioned:
DNC: 0
RNC: 3

Number of times the name "Saddam" was mentioned:
DNC: 1
RNC: 43

Number of times "Iraq" or "Iraqis" were mentioned:
DNC: 28
RNC: 52

Number of times "Afghanistan" was mentioned:
DNC: 3
RNC: 30

Number of times the words "terror," "terrorist," or "terrorism" were mentioned:
DNC: 41
RNC: 100

Number of times the word "war" was mentioned (not counting titles of "World War" or "Civil War" or "Vietnam War"):
DNC: 54
RNC: 80

Number of times the words "compassion" or "compassionate" were mentioned:
DNC: 5
RNC: 19

Number of times the words "Communist" or "communism" were mentioned:
DNC: 3
RNC: 9

Number of times Winston Churchill was mentioned:
DNC: 0
RNC: 2

Number of times Franklin Roosevelt was mentioned:
DNC: 4
RNC: 9

Number of times the Democrats used the name "Bush" in reference to the President:
4

Number of times the Republicans used the name "Kerry" in reference to the Democratic nominee:
60

Conclusion: Republicans suck the cock of compassion only as long as it suits their terror-mongering, 9/11-loving, Kerry-hating asses.