10/09/2006

Rep. Patrick McHenry Channels Kafka For Blitzer:
Yes, yes, Joseph K. would be laughing his ass off at Republican Patrick "Give Me Unsubstantiated, Random Accusations or Give Me Death" McHenry because it would all seem so, so familiar. CNN's Wolf Blitzer asked McHenry a perfectly reasonable question of whether or not the Congressman had any evidence that some unholy menage of Nancy Pelosi, Rahm Emmanuel, and George Soros were responsible for, if the contorted reasoning can be understood, not revealing what they might have known about Mark Foley's one-handed IMing until just before an election despite the fact that Republicans weren't revealing it either. McHenry's response: "Do you have any evidence that they weren’t involved?"

Boo-ya. How do you answer that? 'Cause, realistically, at this point in time, sitting here, tap-tap-tappin' away at this with two hands, the Rude Pundit can't really think of any evidence that he wasn't involved in hiding the Foley e-mails. And, goddamn, when you get right down to it, he can't think of any evidence that he wasn't involved in sleepwalking this morning and killing the hoboes that occasionally pass out in the street nearby. Sure, sure, there may be no hobo blood on his hands, but, still, and all, that doesn't not prove nothing. Hell, let's make this fun: The Rude Pundit can't prove that he didn't have sex with Rachel Bilson last night.

In fact, fuck it. Since Republicans have proven that they can just make up whatever shit they want without producing a single shred of evidence, everyone can claim they had sex with Rachel Bilson last night. Until each of us goes under oath, with lie detectors attached to our 'nads and CIA interrogators watching the needle on the chart. And who gives a fuck what Rachel Bilson has to say about it.

Then, when McHenry says, "It’s a question, Wolf. The question remains, were they involved? And if they were not involved, they need to say clearly. And it’s a question. It’s not an accusation," the Rude Pundit can say, "Accuse away, motherfucker."

The Real Bitch Slap Was Over on ABC:
Rahm Emmanuel, who, at this point, in our post-Foley autumn, is probably thinking about all the blow jobs he owes Howard Dean for putting in place a 50-state strategy on winning the midterms, fucking eviscerated Republican Adam Putnam on This Week. It got to the point where you just felt guilty for how giddy it made you feel. And the Rude Pundit giggled like a schoolgirl. Or Rachel Bilson when you tickle her left nipple with the tip of your tongue.