2/13/2007

"Evidence" of Iranian Involvement in Iraq - Are They Even Trying Anymore?:
They're fuckin' kidding, right? A couple dozen tin can-sized pieces of debris might be enough to send the entire Middle East down the flaming road of apocalypse now? The biggest problem with the entire Operation "Let's-Prove-Iran-Is-Sending-Weapons-To-Iraq" PR push is that Americans don't give a fuck about Iraq anymore. The vast majority of this nation doesn't give a shit if Sunnis kill Shiites and vice-versa, with a Kurd or two thrown in to make it seem like that region's even part of Iraq. And Americans ain't gonna care as long as American troops are over there.

So the Defense Department can be all cloak and dagger about these Iranian tin cans killing 170 Americans in four years in Iraq, and the response is not gonna be, "Oh, goddamn those cocksucking Iranians and their support for certain Shiite factions within the larger conflict in Iraq. Let's bomb 'em." No, Americans are gonna say, "Yeah, hey, what do you know? How about we get the fuck out of there?"

America wants war with Iran about as much as it wants Anna Nicole Smith's corpse to get its own reality TV show. Check out the recent polls: CBS News says 71% of those polled want diplomacy or don't see Iran as a threat. CNN says 68% would oppose military action in Iran. That same CBS poll says 87% believe things in Iraq are the same or worse, 51% believe that we should decrease or remove all troops from that country, 92% think that President Bush should "take into account the views of most Americans" some or "a lot," 93% say the same about Bush taking into account the views of Congress, and, oh, yeah, 68% disapprove of Bush's handling of the war, post-surge policy announcement.

So, really, and c'mon, are bomb parts all ya got? 'Cause last time there were at least full aluminum tubes and a couple of trailers. But they're not trying anymore. The White House doesn't fuckin' care what America or Congress thinks. Still, shit, a bunch of things that look like they oughta be holding government-issued baked beans?

No, no, not good enough for any goddamned thing. If they wanna bomb Iran (a notion that's soooo 1980), then here's the evidence the Rude Pundit wants to see: he wants to see the Mullahs dry-humping nuclear warheads that read, "Hey, infidels, suck on this"; he wants to see a video of motherfuckin' Ahmadinejad actually shoving an IED into a drugged, tied down Dick Cheney's asshole, saying, "We're gonna blow up Dick Cheney's ass, America, if you don't back the fuck up on our nukes," with the President of Iran ordering his guards to fuck Condoleezza Rice's disembodied head. And even then, there should be a referendum in this country on whether or not we actually care if Dick Cheney's ass gets exploded. Hell, they'd probably just give the Vice President a mechanical sphincter and let him keep on lying and sending people to die for him.