8/25/2015

Oh, Shut the Fuck Up, Roger Ailes

Throbbing anthropomorphic hemorrhoid Roger Ailes, Fox "news" chair, stepped up like a sweaty ogre in Galahad's tight armor to defend his woman, sneermistress Megyn Kelly, from the snotty tweets of the walking wart, Donald Trump. "Apologize!" the hemorrhoid demanded of the wart. "Stop saying mean things about our good and noble and true journalette." The girlfolk need a champion. They can't be expected to risk mussing their hair, Ailes believes.

"Suck it," replied the wart. "Suck my bald balls and lick my tasty taint." We shall have to see which pustule will win this war. Either way, we end up sticky and vomiting.

You know, though, for running a network that spends a decent percentage of spring covering the "horrors" of Spring Break in Florida as an excuse to show abs and tits, Ailes is mighty uppity about the respectability of his "news" hosts.

Fox "news" can dish it out - attempting to undermine, attack, and smear every so-called "liberal" media figure. But it can't take it.

Mostly, Roger Ailes should just shut the fuck up. He should shut the fuck up because the odious Megyn Kelly can probably handle Trump herself. Frankly, Ailes's defense of her is far more sexist than anything Trump has said. And he should shut the fuck up because everyone knows that his outrage is merely fodder for more ratings. What's better than Trump snarling at Fox? Fox snarling back. Everyone gets the coverage then.

Kelly is the Fox woman of the moment. When he's done with her, Ailes can sit, pantsless, behind his desk and buzz his secretary to order, "Bring me another blonde. This one's gone slack."